Symptoms of Cretinism

Its just one of those days when emotions travel like cars on a highway - speeding stalling slowing down swerving. The traffic may not be clear, but the road goes somewhere, it always goes somewhere; to a seeming dot on the horizon but it really never ends - the more you move forward the farther it stretches out, unreachable - I feel I'm trying to reach the stars. Or the end of the world. Speeding, stalling, slowing down, swerving, on a road that leads to the stars. Or the end of the world. excuse the crappiness - its kinda from the top of my head.

Today I've realized how utterly drab my blog looks. No pictures, no links, no "cute" stuff. There are only collections of words and numbers that probably make no sense to you. And like you even care. D-R-A-B. Drab. But what the hell, I only know one other person besides me who seems to read it, anyway. I was never one for pictures; I was always the bookish, wordy, and therefore generally BORING type. It really doesn't matter if no one reads my random ramblings and rants - just one of the millions of cretins who have blogs - if you don't like bookish, wordy, and therefore generally BORING type people, then I really don't like you either. *** I've spent quite sometime going through the Friendster network, (c/o HER ^_^ account, of course) trying to discover how detached from the rest of the world (and my past) I really am. And to my great satisfaction, I am quite pleased to declare that I am - significantly cut off from a number of my past aquaintances an...

Today I have finally proven that show business isn't my thing. So there I was, listening to the dialogue during the shoot, one half afraid that it might rain and the other half embarassed because of the cheesiness of it all. I need to get used to it though, if I want to get somewhere with this "career" of mine. And the next step will entail even more cheesiness I have to generate myself. Sigh. More fake smiles and flattery to people who like to have their egos primed and stroked like Siamese cats and Shitzus. There will be those of course, for whom fame and fortune is just another thing like a sofa or a bed, but I was never an optimist. And that's if I ever get to the next step. See, there's my pessimism for you again. So.

I am totally flabbergasted by the fact that I'm still in the office at this ungodly (working) hour. Really, I am. After yesterday and today's all-out lets-get-things-moving-or-else kinda atmosphere, and a quite a few small explosions in my face, the last place I'd expect myself to be would here, at the office, at this time of night. Yes, I know I need (or probably even deserve) a break. And yet here I am, typing my woes away and offering tissue paper to yet another girl in tears (the other one was that girl during the WKL shoot) - both incidents of which I had absolutely nothing to do with at all, mind you. Maybe it's the charm of KOL, I just don't know. Well, since the girl's stopped crying and I really just half-care - see, I'm not completely heartless - I'm going home. Hello food, hello some-sort-of-semblance of peace of mind. If only my Cushie was there too. ^_^ I know, I know. Mush, mush, mush. But this is my blog, so you can shut up now. ^_^

Its 3:30 in the afternoon, and I already feel like crap. That's what happens when deadlines are suddenly shoved down your throat like bad medicine - you're supposed to take it, but it still tastes like something you left on you plate for 5 days straight. I want to go home, or some other place where I don't have to deal with anything that's job related, but I can't. That's the price of getting 2,700 thousand pesos every payday, minus taxes. And to think that I have to endure hours of staying in line just to get it. I don't think its worth it, but you never know what the future holds. I only hope it isn't more crap. Well then. Back to work, you sluggard.