History Repeats Itself

History Repeats Itself - Quickly!

I am not happy. Really.

I could of course, summon up all the cuss words I've stored up somewhere in the not-so-deep recesses of my brain, but it wouldn't be decent, much less pleasant, to say and/or hear. The last thing I want is to piss of people some more, lest there be another chain reaction of bad trips and the sorry life form at the bottom of the heirarchy suffers. The sorry life form at the bottom of the heirarchy being yours truly. I can hear my boss' voice in my head again - "It's all for the show, it's all for the show."

And yet again, I find myself a loss of who to blame. Without being unfair, of course.

But well, I guess that's the way it is and always will be; but that doesn't mean I'm ever going to like the taste of crap.

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No Rest for the Damned

I stare at the blinking cursor in front of me and wonder what’s next. I let myself get swallowed up by the monotony of office life: wake up, eat, travel, work, sleep; I try to revel in its off-white walls and the cacophony of voices that course through my head like nails scratching a blackboard. Funny, that word – blackboard – like my mood, black and bored, or better yet, like me – a black board. But the human tendency for self-preservation drives me to find things to fill the void; sometimes with fleeting trifles I try in vain to attach meanings to, or sometimes with things intangible and profound, like hope, or faith. But it seems that there is no rest for the dammed. Damned by the reminders of past mistakes, damned by the hollow tedium of today, and damned by the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Or it could be that I’m really just bitter, as someone pointed out not so long ago. Not a bad conclusion, really, with me allowing myself to be consumed by memories of failure, or by the bana...

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Symptoms of Cretinism

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