Lately I feel devoid of any drive to really do anything.
I try to go through the motions of going about the tasks assigned to me and trying to get things done, but all I can manage to come up with is some half-assed sorry excuse of work output. When you work for three months and then you find out that it's seemingly for nothing, and then the position you want gets offered to someone else, only then will you understand how I feel.
Yes, I'm trying to do something about it, thank you very much - as if I don't see the need to. But trying to have a drive to have a drive when you don't have a drive is not an easy task.
And no, you're just reading that last sentence wrong.