Saturday, February 25, 2006

Leaving A Lie

All those ten months were a lie. I know it now.

She'll probably deny it, but I know it's true. So many broken promises, so many hurts - I know she has her share as well - so many secrets kept. All those I love yous - mere words.

Sometimes I wish I were a jerk. I play by the rules and I always end up getting screwed over. But it's not in my nature to be one, I'm afraid. I'll always be this nice, easy, boring guy. Much less than the challenge women seem to want. Much less than the challenge SHE wants to have. It seems I was only a plaything - something to be discarded when I cease to be of interest. I was only good when it was convenient for her.

I am angry. Not at her, but at me, for believing. For being so blind. For giving everything without a second thought. For having too much faith in her, for never doubting, for never having second thoughts.

I want to forget her, even though a part of me is screaming "No!", but I know that I must. I want to stop hurting. I don't want to feel the noose around my neck anymore. I know I will, in time, but it's going to be one hell of a journey.

1 told me off:

em_mo said...

nakz, mzta nman ang nka2rel8(ako)?? hehhe.. but in my case ako ang nging stupid and naive sa guy! kc gnun n gnun ang nangyari eh..hay all d whle akala ko pare2ho ang mga LALAKE.. be proud 2 ur self dude, coz ur different.. hehhe! cnxa lhat ng cnulat mo magkocoment ako hihi