The screaming voice in my head has finally gone away.
Of course, it'll be back for sure sometime next week, bellowing the same thing all over again. I'm not quite sure if I should be feeling extra nervous about it, new staff and all, but I don't know - my natural tendency for pessimism tells me that something's going to go to sh*t. Of course, I can always look to the heaven, pray, and hope; but there's a big, big difference between "God" and "Genie of the Lamp".
Damn, it feels good to finally relax after all those nights of obsessing over pages and proof. Whew. As soon as the office dismissal bell rang, I all but whooshed myself to Megamall and arcaded my all my stress away, and got a nifty white EVO VIII in the process too.
It's also quite strange (at least for me) to be able to NOT think about all that emo crap I usually wallow in. I guess today was a good day, all things considered. The reminders I frequently see in faces weren't as striking as they normally were, I entertained very little melodramatic thoughts, and daydreamed less about you-know-what-thing-hopeless-losers-like-me-daydream-about. It was just simply 'chill out' for me today.
It has just started to rain. I don't know if that's a good sign. I'll know soon enough.
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Next day: crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.
I knew it, I knew it! Something went to sh*t.
More fingers crossed, more fervent prayers.
Damn it, I really want to swear.
Comments
so in effect, you just dread the good days as much as you the bad ones. sigh.
Suspicion isn't the same as dread. Dread is more debilitating, I think. ;)
Besides, keeping yourself moderately suspicious of everything is the only way you can possibly make it through your 20's. That's just a theory of mine. Hehehehe.