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Beginning a journey


Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. - The Architect, The Matrix Reloaded

For months now, I've consistently avoided coming face to face with the fact that the day will come when she has to go away, that there will come a day when we will be thrust into the uncertain and topsy-turvy world of inter-continental relationships. I guess something inside me wanted to believe that there'd be an easier way for us, that some sort of bizzare miracle would occur, and everything would be fine; no more hurdles, no more difficulties--only bliss. And only recently has reality--like it always does--punched me in the gut so hard that I am left gasping for air.

How does one deal when someone goes away? Death is easier, I think (although more painful), with its finality and definiteness; what do you do when someone is there but not there at the same time? Some people treat SOs as if they were accessories; there's that longing too, of course, that hankering for its presence, for its nearness, but 'things' are always easily forgotten, easy to live without. When it's gone, you grieve for it a little (sometimes even not at all, when you have something better to replace it with), but in the end, it's just something you once had but don't have anymore.

I, on the other hand, feel like I'm going to loose an appendage.

But like every journey that's set before me, I have to take it and walk on it until I get to where ever I'm supposed to go. It's part of of life, part of moving forward. Only the dead are left behind.

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One last thing before I hit the sack.

I realize I haven't been posting as much as I want to (ha, Captain Obvious), settling for the occasional photo.

Still, I just want to give out a big thank You to the Guy Upstairs, for blessings and what I pray to be good things to come.

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Serendra, on a hot, Saturday afternoon: