Saturday, July 12, 2008

Nth rant

It's hard to put down something profound, something decent on paper--digital or otherwise--when there are things (read: thing; read DEEPER: PERSON) that just bleeds you dry.

Still, here are some tips that might help that I hope she never reads and remains oblivious to for the rest of her life that I hope somebody richer and more powerful will tell her to her face and she will consequently melt (very painfully) in embarrassment or subsequently resign and live on a deserted island like the one in Lost and then find a hatch then be crushed to death by a giant snake-type monster that's always surrounded by smoke.

- learn to Google. Just type the letters w-w-w-.-g-o-o-g-l-e-.-c-o-m
- do not click on things like the world is ending.
- the scroll bar is on the right side of your screen. The arrow pointing down, which also looks like an inverted triangle, means DOWN. The arrow pointing up, that looks like an upright triangle, means UP.
- stop lying to your relatives.
- stop having other people who have no choice to lie for you to your relatives (and other similarly unpleasant people who know how to get in touch with you).
- you are OLD. Dress your age.
- I know that Mango racerback was on sale for 200++, and it suits you the way a suit looks good on a pig.
- it's stupid to kill a bird with many stones when you can kill two with just one.
- the tagalog word 'maagap' is almost the same as 'maaga'.
- don't talk about common sense because you don't have it; you can't even get a hold of your memory properly.
- there is such a thing as 'Communicasia'. And if it were wrong (which it isn't), it wouldn't be an issue of grammar but of spelling.
- translating 'San ka pa?' into English ('What have you?') is just lame. Actually using it in a conversation is even lamer.

I'm sure there will be a fair share of people who, after reading this, will think I'm being to harsh, or that I'm exaggerating, or that I'm just being plain mean. I can only say that I hope you never find yourself in my shoes.

1 told me off:

salve said...

but you are the "thing's" fave person in the whole wide world. hahahaha! kuchi-kuchi koooooo