Skip to main content

I'd like my steak rare, please.

It’s frustrating sometimes, how life is fraught with complications and twists and turns, how living is always not as simple as it seems.

It’s tiring when you think of it, really, the infinite number of possibilities, probabilities, outcomes and endings available in a single lifetime. To contemplate on reality and try to grasp the larger picture that encompasses our small and frail existences is an invitation to madness, or at the very least, sadness. Not to mention that simply saying that you “like to contemplate on the real meaning of life as a whole” makes you an arrogant and presumptuous pseudo-philosophical cock (ahem-ahem, excuse me).

It is as it has always been for me. Suck it all up and move forward.

I say this without bitterness and resentment--after all, such is always the case, and I've gotten used to it. It is simply a statement of fact. I just thought it could, and would, be different this time. Judging from my years as a complete and utter failure, however, it's not so far-fetched to say that I am probably the one at fault. Even IF other people were to blame, I do not own them, nor can I answer for them. They are their own selves. It is useless to point fingers at others when one is not perfect. I can only account for--and therefore blame (and change)--myself, in the end.

Ah, I'm babbling now. I don't think that you, my least-avid fan, understand me anyway. I do that quite often--blab incoherently, that is, so much that I think I've gone bonkers.

Maybe I really have.

===============

Sway With Me
Charles Bukowski

sway with me, everything sad --
madmen in stone houses
without doors,
lepers steaming love and song
frogs trying to figure
the sky;
sway with me, sad things --
fingers split on a forge
old age like breakfast shell
used books, used people
used flowers, used love
I need you
I need you
I need you:
it has run away
like a horse or a dog,
dead or lost
or unforgiving.

Comments

Raein said…
Ack. I don't like rare steak. I can tolerate medium rare, though. :)
7:31 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

No Rest for the Damned

I stare at the blinking cursor in front of me and wonder what’s next. I let myself get swallowed up by the monotony of office life: wake up, eat, travel, work, sleep; I try to revel in its off-white walls and the cacophony of voices that course through my head like nails scratching a blackboard. Funny, that word – blackboard – like my mood, black and bored, or better yet, like me – a black board. But the human tendency for self-preservation drives me to find things to fill the void; sometimes with fleeting trifles I try in vain to attach meanings to, or sometimes with things intangible and profound, like hope, or faith. But it seems that there is no rest for the dammed. Damned by the reminders of past mistakes, damned by the hollow tedium of today, and damned by the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Or it could be that I’m really just bitter, as someone pointed out not so long ago. Not a bad conclusion, really, with me allowing myself to be consumed by memories of failure, or by the bana
7 comments
Read more

Strange tales

I am aimlessly wandering through cyberspace, looking for things to help pass the time - browser games, blogs, poems, manga - waiting for the dismissal bell to ring. Deadline's almost over, and all that's left to do are some late revisions. Two days more 'til Friday. Yes, I am counting, and I am looking forward to doing something different for a change. Something to break the sad, bland routine of my life. I say thanks in advance to that brave soul who's never seen me but was nice enough to agree to wait an extra four hours just to watch a movie with me. Just please, please, please don't kill me. ----------- How's this for strange: along my boredom-induced travels in the web, I have met someone who's almost completely like S - entirely by accident. I meant to never write anything - even the smallest thing - about her ever again, but this is just too richly entertaining to pass up. They look the same, think the same, were born the same month, have almost the
6 comments
Read more

Judge the movie by its trailer

I am totally beside myself after watching the trailer for Ghost Rider . Never mind the technical errors such as Blackheart being described as "the son of the devil himself" - when he's just Mephisto's son, or that a part of the trailer that is - if I'm not mistaken - grammatically incorrect, or at least could be written better. I still can't wait to see the 1337 leather jacket and 1337 chain, the 1337 bike, and the h0t Eva Mendes. The flaming skull-head could use a bit more work though. Nevertheless, I'm quite sure that I'm going to be one of those lining up to see it come February next year. On a different note, The Devil Wears Prada looks quite promising. Meryl Streep as a soft spoken (in the trailer, at least) but very b*tchy cutthroat EIC for a fashion magazine and Anne Hathaway as her un-fashionable assistant might be the low-of-lows plot wise, but it's the possibility of great, not to mention amusing, perfomances from the actors that I
8 comments
Read more