Symptoms of Cretinism

Last night I had an Ipod Shuffle, this morning I gave it away. Now, why the hell would I do such a stupid thing, you might ask. Because I'm tired. Tired of always fighting for what I want, and losing, each and evey time. Mind you, its not easy to give away an Ipod that you've only thought you might ever have had in dreams. That no one gives a damn shit that I had to originally share it with a first class crass idiot who has a penchant for destroying things even though it was I who asked for it in the first place just downright pisses the shit out of me. Nobody even thought, "Hey, let's give this to Iamstorm, since it never even occured to us to congratulate him when he finally graduated; or that we forgot his birthday for three days before someone finally remembered." But no. "You have a job," they say, as if they didn't know that my monthly salary's only just quite enough to pay for transpotation and food. Its either its mine or it not. And sin...

I just finished watching Susan Roces wave her hands at hundreds of (payed?) rallyists in Ayala and make a speech about returning the Philippines' honor by kicking Gloria Arroyo out. I agree. What I find completely disturbing are the choices for the next head of state. Noli de Castro? Mrs. Fernando Poe Jr.? I don't think so. There's a big streamer behind her that says, "Ibalik ang dangal ng Pilipino!". Again, I agree. That the whole election fiasco that President Short, er Gloria, orchestrated - and (sort of) admitting to (which is just like saying, "It was completely platonic!" when you get caught having a nice candlelit date with someone else when you have a wife) - has thrown our nation's honor into the bottom of the cesspool. But the thing is, I don't think that either Noli or Susan is the key to returning the country's honor. The former is only slightly less controversial (and rightly so, in my honest opinion) than his boss, and the latte...

Giving - that's what love's all about. To try to give everything and sacrifice everything for another person, no matter the cost to yourself. I know that sounds downright mushy, but that's what love is. In my book, at least. One of the things I've learned throughout the years is that no matter how much of yourself you give to another, its just pure foolishness to expect, or even at least hope, for something in return. People are naturally selfish - that's a fact. Of course that applies to me as well; that's why I there are times when I get disappointed whenever things get one-sided - and I'm not on the recieving end. But I love her, so all discussion ends there. The story of my life.

When push comes to shove, I guess I have to be the one to give in. Especially when the one pushing is my boss. Of course, I hold no grudges - work is work; and besides, you always get to learn something new when you do something for the first time. Like reading all the stuff written in your notes and all but literally pounding them into your sorry excuse for a head. It's only unfortunate that I learned this lesson the hard way - that is to say, by experience. Which means screwing up first and then slapping your head afterward, saying, "I should have thought of that before." Thank heaven I had a decent excuse. I will leave it at that and will say no more, lest someone important read this and consequently fire my sorry ass before you, or I, can say Jack Robinson. Or at least get issued a memo, which is only slightly less bad. So at the end of the day - the "person" isn't here anymore, I learned a couple of valuable lessons, and maybe, just maybe I got to im...

Its a typical week day work day, its ten in the morning, and the only other person in the room with me is the resident cono-slash-er.."person". Of course, she doesn't notice me, being her being the "person" that she is and all, and thats just fine. And no, I absolutely do not have a crush on her. Heaven forbid that I end up with a woman like that, no matter how cute she is. Anyways, thats just what I think - people are entitled to their own opinions. Hey, maybe she even has a parallel opinion of yours truly, which is if what I think it is, then its nothing new. Join the club, honey. I'd just like to make it clear that all this is, er, was a product of some involuntary urge to try to spew out something funny. But all things considered, all I've accomplished so far consist of a short hodgepodge of biatchiness (there's a clue here, folks) that you probably regret reading already. Oh well. Back to the old drawing board.

It’s the Lord’s Day, so I smile, wave, and wish people a good morning. I’d like to think that the morning’s blessed and all good and peachy, but it’s quite hard to do when my bosses are chewing on my ass and shoving an impossible deadline into my face. I'm not comfortable with this seeming lack of faith and joy on what’s supposed to be a day of rejoicing and worship, but I guess I'm just being human. I apologize. I’d also like to think that the Almighty Guy Upstairs will come through for me. But I don’t like to presume, especially since part of the problem’s my fault. I do not have any illusions of God letting me off this, or at least letting me off easy, for that matter. While nothing’s impossible to God, and while I do not forget that He is merciful and understanding, I know He’s a God of justice as well. But of course, I pray, and hope. * * * A month ago, I prayed for a job. Now I have one, I'm close to hating it. It’s always responsibilities, duties, and obligations tha...

The reason why I don't join e-groups is that a lot of people think it's cute to bombard you with senseless forwarded messages. Almost every day there's this message that has "FW" or "Forwarded" on it that appears in your inbox. When you open it, after the seemingly endless email addresses that the message has been sent to, and resent again, and resent yet again, and so on, you find some worthless message / link/ picture / or whatever that's "cute" or "nice" or something that the sender thinks (mistakenly, in my case at least) was worth all the time you spent being annoyed while scrolling down all those email addresses. Now, there's this high school classmate of mine who thinks that its perfectly alright to send all these forwards to the e-groups (which I only joined so my high school mates won't say that I'm this arrogant snob), under the presumption that it's some sort of freedom board - some place where you can p...

Finally, I have a job. Thank God. It still remans to be seen of course, how I'm going to fare and how long I'm going to last, but at least I've got a start. I guess that's all for now. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch.

Sigh. I hope I get the job tomorrow. Im quite sick and tired of lying around the house doing nothing, or being given something to do by my parents - some sort of chore, or chores that involve a lot of sweat and being bitten by mosquitoes many, many times. But I'm more sick and tired of not having money. How many times have I looked at tech sites and stores and wanted that latest piece of hot technology? Then I look into my wallet and then reality hit me like being doused with ice-cold water in the middle of the night - I can't afford any of them. Sigh. I know, I know, I'm being materialistic. But thats not all I want in life, excuuuse me. I want a lot of other things like a good wife (I pray this one's the "one;" it really feels like she is) and a family, and to one day sit on a rocking chair, all old and shiveled up, holding my equally aged wife's hand and watching our grandchildren play in the yard. Then I'm going to smile, and thank the Lord for he...

I wish i wrote this, but I didn't. Happy reading! They had grown up next door to each other, on the fringe of a city, near fields and woods and orchards, within sight of a lovely bell tower that belonged to a school for the blind. Now they were twenty, had not seen each other for nearly a year. There had always been playful, comfortable warmth between them, but never any talk of love. His name was Newt. Her name was Catharine. In the early afternoon, Newt knocked on Catharine's front door. Catharine came to the door. She was carrying a fat, glossy, magazine devoted entirely to brides. "Newt!" she said. She was surprised to see him."Could you come for a walk?" he said. He was a shy person, even with Catharine. He covered his shyness by speaking absently, as though what really concerned him were far away--as though he were a secret agent pausing briefly on a mission between beautiful, distant, and sinister points. This manner of speaking had always been Newt...

Hay nako. Ang hirap talaga ng walang trabaho. Hindi pa nakatulong sa sitwasyon ko na nadukutan ako ng cellphone sa LRT nung nakaraang Linggo. Tae naman. Well, ano naman ako, sineswete? Kailangan ko ring maranasan na mabiktima ng petty crime dito sa Pilipinas. Natural lang yata na mangyari yon kahit kanino. Syempre, hindi pa rin nakakagaang ng loob yun. Pero wala na naman akong magagawa, tapos na yun. Bakit ayaw sa akin ng trabaho? Oo, alam kong nakakaraket naman ako dyan sa tabi-tabi, pero iba pa rin yung meron kang regular paycheck tuwing quincenas, di ba? Madami akong pangarap sa buhay, at higit sa kalahati ng mga yon, kailangan ng pera para matupad. Syempre meron namang iba na hindi masusukat ng pera, pero bukod na yung mga 'yon sa usapang 'to. At paano naman ako magkakapera kung wala naman akong trabaho? Asa pa akong susustentuhan pa ako ng mga magulang ko. Swerte pa 'ata ako na hindi pa nila ako pinapalayas sa bahay. Magaling naman ako. Base sa kalidad ng mga nababasa ...

If there's Monday blues, there's Sunday blues for me. Of course this 'phenomenon' doesn't happen every Sunday, when I'm supposed to be worshipping God and all that; it's just today. And before I start to babble and blab, I'll make it simple: It all boils down to how much i miss HER. "OMG", you say, "What a 'baduy' first entry." "Oh well," I say, "This is MY blog, isnt it?" So. back to all this missing HER business. It's really new to me, this feeling of how much I miss her; I've never felt this sense of loneliness and aloneness when she's not with me. That I've had four previous relationships doesn't seem to matter. I miss her terribly, I miss her like I've never missed anyone before. Yes, yes, I know how I sound, thank you very much. Ugh. It doesn't help that my co-workers have decided to ressurect that age old (non-existent, believe me) issue about me and the resident simpleton...